Finding Clarity

With my nephew moving out, my favorite person coming for an extended visit, and my guy needing minor surgery, as well as a project I need to finish for my day job, my quiet life is suddenly becoming very chaotic. Pressure mounts as I try to manage the additional tasks as well as everyone's expectations of me. This time, however, a lot has changed in my ability to do so, thanks to some changes I've made in how I perceive and address the expectations of others.

Actions versus Expectations: As always I do what I can, but I no longer overextend myself, especially while others who create the work for me stand by doing nothing and/or criticize me for not satisfying their requirements. I am not a machine. Nor do I beat myself up if I can't make them happy. That's their problem, not mine.

Calming Meditation: I have a new habit in the mornings, in that I'm choosing a spiritual teaching to focus on that day, and also to meditate on as I walk the dogs or do my chores. It's proving very soothing. Attending to my soul as well as my housework makes my home life more serene for me.

Saying No to Harmful-to-Me Activities: I always thought I had to go along with what everyone else wanted to do in order to be a good sport. My family expects this of me. This is why I sustained a foot injury at a Disney theme park that took almost a year to heal because I was forced to walk continuously for almost twelve hours to keep up with the family. It's also why I got a hot cinder in my left eye the last time we went to the races. No one was even worried about either incident because they got what they wanted, and I didn't complain.

Actually I was quite worried both times. I'm very slow to heal, especially on the legs and feet. Because I have artificial implants in my eyes I need to protect them, too. This is why I will no longer go to theme parks or the races with the family. Nor will I do anything else that can prove to be harmful to me anymore. If no one cares, then I have to.

Taking Time for Myself: I spend several hours every night unwinding and enjoying my various projects. It helps me sleep better. Not everyone approves of this; evidently they expect me to work every single minute I'm conscious. Since I work from the time I wake up for twelve to fourteen hours taking care of my critics, this house, the dogs, the cooking, the laundry and my day job, while they have no responsibilities at all, I feel I am entitled to a little time for myself.

Summer may prove challenging now, but I am focused on maintaining my peace and calm. Respect begins with the self.

Image by Denny Franzkowiak from Pixabay