Rayen

After having some severe anxiety over the social media problem, and being forced to give up my Mastodon account, which I really loved, I'm going to take a break from blogging for some much needed self-care. I just need not to be around online folks until I've regained 100% of my calm. See you when I'm ready to brave being online again. Image by Enrique from Pixabay

The title of this post and the embroidery on this mini quilt I made last year are the same: jasin-eul salanghaseo . It's a Korean phrase that has very deep meaning for me. It came to me during a terrible time as a gentle wake-up call, and became a motto for this time in my life. It empowered me like no one and nothing else in my life has. What does it mean? The literal translation in English if you google it is "I love you" but the actual meaning is "love yourself." In the past I have always attracted people who do not actually care for me. They have told me they do care so they could use me, abuse me, swindle me out of money and otherwise gratify themselves at my expense. I'm not sure why they behave that way, but that was my heaviest burden. I have done my part by being naive, believing what they told me, hoping it would get better, and even thinking at times that I deserved to be treated that way. I had no one to protect me. Much of thi...

If I didn't have diabetes I would probably never leave the house except to shop for food. I am a homebody by nature. I love my home, my guy, my nephew and our dogs. That's my world. I do not feel the same about the outside world and most of the people in it. The world seems dark and nasty, and most folks appear to be just out for themselves and what they want, and heaven help anyone who gets in their way. For these reasons I would happily stay at home forever. When I'm not writing, cooking, caring for the pups and my guys or doing my housework, I can sit for hours and crochet, read and watch videos. That's my life and I do love it. Maybe that's why I am a very sedentary person. Also, I've never found an exercise that I ended up genuinely liking. I've done gymnastics, weight lifting, dance, aerobics, swimming, tai chi and a bunch of other stuff. Now I'm so old and crippled by arthritis that all I can do is walk, but I do walk, twice ...

You remember me showing you this deadline week disaster. The rack and shelves in my wardrobe ended up spontaneously collapsing, taking all my clothes with it. I have a philosophy about bad things happening, especially when I'm busy: it could always be worse. In that yes, my closet self-destructed, but we can fix it ourselves. Would have been much worse if the wall had come down with the clothes. It took about an hour to clean up, and my clothes went to live in the spare bedroom while my guy repaired everything. The rack and shelves just needed to be remounted, this time correctly. I tried to see this as an opportunity rather than the pain in the butt that it was. I'm not naturally a glass-half-full person, but it's the healthier attitude. So when my guy had finished the repair work I started putting my clothes back while removing things that were too big, too heavy or that I didn't like for some reason. I also weeded out most of my old cold-weather jack...

When it comes to diabetes management, there are a lot of videos on YouTube which are basically fear-mongering for views and sheer quackery for the quick-fix chasers. If you're diagnosing and/or treating yourself according to crap you watch online, you will likely suffer for it. If you're not sure, videos with titles like "Eat/drink this and reverse your diabetes in 24 hours!" or "The simple cure for diabetes that doctors don't want you to know!" or "Lose fifty pounds in a month (or even a week!) and end your diabetes with this trick!" are pure quackery. In my experience, pretty much any title with an exclamation point at the end is crap. Hey, I've fallen for it, too. Turmeric, which is often plugged as a miracle supplement in such videos, seemed like something I could try to reduce my inflammation due to arthritis -- it's a spice, right? How could that hurt? I also cook with turmeric regularly. Simple thing to try. At firs...

Last week while I was writing my guy came into my office to interrupt me, which meant either the house was on fire or a disaster had happened. The first words out of his mouth were, "Honey, we've got a disaster" so it didn't look like we were going to burn to death. No, it was just half of our walk-in closet's shelves and racks spontaneously collapsed. All of them, all at the same time. My half, of course. The folks who installed the shelves and racks did not bother to find the studs in the walls, which is why after 29 years and many pounds of clothes, bed linens and pillows the drywall screws just worked their way out. My guy helped me move everything to the bed in our spare bedroom, which will serve as my temporary closet while he builds me new shelves and racks. It took an hour I didn't have to spare, but that's my luck. Hey, at least the house didn't burn down, right? Good disaster.

One thing that is hard for all diabetics to do is give up certain foods. Usually when I give up something I have to stop eating or drinking it entirely; doing smaller or even tiny amounts doesn't work for me. Eat just two M & Ms? Please. Sometimes I'm able to find safe substitutes, like sparkling water for soda, or zero sugar cookies that taste like the real thing. I've also modified my expectations. Before I was diagnosed I could eat a whole pile of Oreos. Now? I eat two of the zero sugar variety. To give you more ideas, here are: Ten Healthy Substitutes to Control Cravings: Baked potato: A baked sweet potato with a sprinkle of cinnamon is much lower in carbs and just as satifying. Bread: I don't care for Keto breads, but I do like chaffles as a substitute. Cereal: Instead of sugary processed cereal for breakfast I eat oatmeal with ground flaxseed, chopped walnuts, a sprinkle of cinnamon and a little stevia. Chocolate candy: The be...

I decided to document everything I do in one day. I was curious about how much I get accomplished (more than I thought.) I also never really think about how busy I am. It's just life. If you'd like to know the details, and you're not easily bored, you can walk through 17 hours of April 15th with me via this photo album here .

It's time for me to make a quilt entirely on my sewing machine -- piecing, quilting, and binding with my Singer. I have done a few small pieces like mug rugs, pot holders and place mats on the machine, but this will be the first acrual quilt. Last year I purchased a bundle of eight fat quarters featuring dragons and castles at the county quilt show, and I think they'd make a marvelous little quilt for my nephew's dog. For the pattern I'm going to rely on my trusty favorite: Yellow Brick Road by Atkinson Designs. I love this pattern and it makes some really beautiful quilts. It's also all rectangles, which will not be difficult for me to quilt on the machine (I hope.) The baby size quilt of this pattern calls for six fat quarters, so I removed two that were print repeats in different colors, leaving me with these. The first step is pressing, cutting and piecing, so stay tuned to find out how I do with that.

During my bi-annual checkup last year I had the opportunity to go on a GLP-1 drug. My doctor considered it a wonder treatment, particularly for diabetics, and recommended it to me, but I refused. I have only 20 lbs. to lose before I'm at my ideal weight. Also, I do not want to be dependent on any kind of needle if I can avoid that. I'd rather lose the weight the hard way, by controlling my diet and doing daily exercise. Make no mistake, it is very hard to manage this disease and continue to lose weight. I've hit that last 20 lbs. plateau, and I'm fighting for every pound I lose now. Back to the drug. There wasn't a lot of information about GLP-1s at the time, especially concerning the side effects, but I had heard that the minute anyone stopped the injections, they put the weight back on. That made sense, too -- people were dependent on using the needle, and when the needle went away, so did the results. Big pharmaceutical companies seem to be more...

While we were down in the city last week I asked my guy to stop by a Michael's Craft Store a few miles away, as I needed a couple things I had to see in person. I have not shopped at a craft store since JoAnn closed, and I thought I'd look at their new yarn prices. Hooboy. I thrift 99.9% of my yarn, so I am not used to the price tag of new, but everything in the yarn section was SO expensive! $14.99 for these Caron cakes -- I thrifted two latte cakes for less than a dollar per cake last year. Wool Ease is now up to $9.99 a skein. That's crazy. I thrifted three skeins a couple months ago in a big bag of yarn for five bucks. Even the clearance yarn was $7.00 per skein or higher. I'm sorry, but I just can't justify spending that kind of money on it on a material I can usually thrift for less than a dollar a skein. What did I get while I was there, you may ask? Not much, and no yarn. This bunny basket was marked down 70% and was still $7.99...

Last Thursday I saw my diabetes doc, and while I have a couple of minor issues to work on (getting my A1C down to 6.5; losing the last 20 lbs.) I am in very good shape. Even my habitually low blood pressure was lower, which means the exercise is still paying off. He was quite pleased, and it's always a relief to have a good checkup. As I've been rather anxious over all this, and also deeply upset over recent events in the world, I gave myself the next day and the weekend off to take it easy, especially as the following week was my deadline week for my first day job project of the year. At present I'm working up the last of a skein of variegated yarn into a no pattern moss-stitched clutch for my art supplies, mainly so I can see the color changes in this yarn (Bitty Stripes by Red Heart Super Saver in Moonbeam) and use up the rest of the skein. After that I'm going to make a quilt for my nephew's dog. Maybe. I'm trying not to put any more pressure on myse...

Today I'm going to the diabetes doc to get my bi-annual check. After that I'm going to get started on a little quilt using these dragon novelty prints. I'm also going to try to make it entirely by machine. Wish me luck on both fronts. :) In the next few days we'll also be heading into the city with our nephew to visit IKEA and have dinner out. His house build is going very well, and he's on track to move into his new place in June, so I want to show him some room designs I like (not that I think he'll paint black polka dots on his walls, lol.) While we're there I'm going to pick up another one of these hanging organizers for my yarn stash. This one has worked out so well I wish I had a dozen of them, but I have room for only one more.

After several scary medical emergencies back in 2018 I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I was not at risk, nor had I any idea I was sick. In fact I had just lost a lot of weight while exercising daily and closely watching my diet. I had probably developed it after my last pregnancy, and my condition went undiagnosed because I had no real symptoms. I would just get shaky or dizzy on rare occasions, but I put that down to my perpetual dieting. Because I was careful with my diet anyway that probably managed it for about five years, until it finally flared out of control as I got older. I was horrified to discover I'd become a diabetic, as I know how debilitating and harmful the disease can be from seeing patients suffering from it during my medical career. The nurse at my doctor's office said "Some people just get a crap roll of the genetic dice." I know she meant that to make me feel better, but since I don't know who my birth parents were that hurt ...

The final steps of making the April tote was to sew on the crochet handles and this gorgeous embroidered quilt tag made by my favorite Etsy seller 14carrot . Here is the finished tote, which I completed on Easter and dubbed the 14Carrots Tote. I worked on it for five days, which made it the fastest quilted tote I've made to date. Another reason I was able to finish it so quickly is that it is an art piece, not something I plan to use as an actual tote. It will be hanging in my home office to remind me of my friend and how much happiness she's brought to my creative life. I also got a much-needed reset for my enthusiasm for my calendar project by making this. I tend to get very, very complicated when I make totes and I need to be less ambitious and have more fun. April's tote definitely taught me that. :)

I can usually read a book in a couple of hours. If the book is on the longer side, at most a couple of days. I started reading History of Food by Maguelonne Toussaint-Samat on September 18th of last year. I read at least two to four pages every day, and finished it yesterday. Since the book is 800 pages long it's not an easy or light read, and it's so packed with the history of food that I didn't want to read it quickly. Now I feel as if I've completed a master course on the subject over the last six months. The author takes you on a lengthy journey through the human experience of collecting, preparing and eating food, from the time we were of the tree dwelling variety that picked up anything that looked edible and put it in their mouth. She is not especially enthusiastic (or even kind) about human beings, but she does know and love the foods we have eaten since literally the dawn of our history. The amount of research that went into this magnificent book ...

Here's a truth that fits basically everyone: the older we get, the more often folks online (and in real life!) try to scam us. We've seen it happen to friends and neighbors, and now it seems the financial problems of the present are convincing more and more people to try swindling money out of the unwary. Example: every day I get Medicare junk mail. This is because I'm going to be sixty-five this year and I'm a hot prospect for ANY insurance agent who wants to make money off me. Do they say that in their junk mail? No. They say they want to HELP me. They make this sound like a public service they do out of the goodness of their heart. No, there's nothing in it for them! They claim I'm confused about Medicare and they can explain everything AND they can help me get the coverage I need for the lowest price. Because they're such good people. Sure. I agree that I'm a befuddled idiot who can't read, and I need you to help yourself to my mo...

Unlike the three previous months of my calendar project, during which I slogged right to the very end of the month to finish and assemble each tote, I'm having a lot of fun with April's edition. Adding crochet to this one definitely boosted my spirits. I crocheted and added the yarn elements all in one night. Here are the finished panels. I also crocheted the handles for the tote. I then decided to assemble it before I applied the embroidered carrots tag, just to see how it would look. It looks fine. I think I will line it, as the cutter quilt pieces are pretty thin and worn, so I need to look for some lining fabric. I'll probably use white or a neutral. Onward!

Now that I have the fabric elements for the tote I'm making this month for my calendar project, I actually need some yarn. I thought I'd raid my little stash of artsy yarns to see what I could pair with my cutter quilt pieces. I first selected these hanks as possibilities. The pink on the far left is fingering weight, which is too thin for my needs. The orange and brown hank and the white/darkblue/green/yellow skein don't pair well with the cutter quilt pieces. That left two possibilities. I do love this Juniper Moon yarn, and it would work well with the quilt pieces, but I have only one hank, which probably won't be enough for the project. In the end I went with the orange worsted wool, of which I have four hanks, which should be plenty to finish the crochet portion of the tote. I'm all set. I just have to review the pattern, cake the yarn and then I can get started.

Sometime during the next twelve months I have to decide whether I should continue working or retire. This should be easy, right? Nope. I have already made some decisions, such as what I intend to do after I retire ( work as a volunteer transcribing hand-written documents for The National Archives ) and if I will ever self-publish for profit under my old bylines (absolutely not.) These are non-negotiable decisions that I made for my general health, happiness and avoidance of all the unpleasantness I left behind when I stopped writing for the big NY publishers. While I am getting older by the day, so is my guy, who is quite a bit older than me. He will soon be in his eighties and is starting to have some genuine issues with his cognitive and physical capabilities. Memory problems and falls are our two big problems at the moment. I must also prepare for the day when I become his care giver as well as his life partner, and also what happens if he predeceases me or I predecease h...

If I've learned anything from the first three months of my 2026 calendar project, it's that I can surprise myself. Last month's tote seemed like it would never be finished, and then a change in my attitude helped me do that four days ahead of schedule. This month I really would like to take things a bit easier, and use some cutter quilt pieces I've been saving. I've never seen an orange wedding ring quilt. I'm also going to add a beautiful piece of art from my favorite Etsy Seller, 14carrot, who inspired last year's calendar project. She really outdid herself with this mini quilt, which is just gorgeous. Obviously orange is going to be the theme! Ha. As I'm writing this post it's March 28th, so I have a few days to figure out how I want to do this one. The shape and size of the cutter quilt pieces make me want to add a section on top of their long flat side, and I'll also need something for the handles, but the vintage crazy q...

Despite my best intentions the only quilting I did last month was my March tote for my calendar project, and there was barely any of that involved (basically some applique of the two fabric panels.) I want to say that I simply ran out of time and month, but honestly whenever I wanted to work on something I opted for crochet, as I'm better at that now. To get myself motivated I've made myself a mini-challenge: make something quilted every week in April. As a warmup for the challenge I decided to use was this flamingo novelty fabric I bought at the county quilt show last year to make a bowl mat for my nephew's dog. I sewed and quilted this mat almost entirely by machine, and it only took a couple hours. It's not perfect, but it turned out much better than I expected. I have to admit, part of my problem with quilting is that I resent having to do so much by machine now. I'm just not a machine quilter at heart. That said, it was a lot less painful th...

When my guy and I go out for a meal -- not very often these days -- I'm ordering the most diabetic-friendly items on the menu, like this chicken cranberry pecan salad I got when we stopped at Bob Evans on one of our day trips. The dressing has a lot of sugar in it, so I get that on the side and use it very sparingly (I only used about half of one of those cups.) My relationship with food is always going to be difficult, thanks to diabetes. In theory I can eat pretty much all the salad, meat, cheese and eggs I want, and limited amounts of rice and pasta now and then, but no bread, baked goods and especially potatoes, which are a trigger food for me. I drink coffee, herbal tea and sparkling mineral water, mostly the latter. I'm also trying to lose weight, so at this time I really can't eat all I want. It's very, very frustrating when I have to watch everyone else enjoy desserts and rolls (and french fries!) while I go without or nibble on a piece of celery. Pre...