Rayen

While we were on our road trip for my birthday we drove through Rockledge and saw the old hospital they are demolishing bit by bit. I've never been able to get so close to this kind of job site and it fascinates me, so I snapped a few more pics from the car. Aside from it being excellent visuals for a story I'm writing for pleasure (yes, everything is grist for the mill) there is something haunting about getting close to such large scale destruction. It's apocalyptic for sure, but it's also a stunning visual metaphor for many things. The deconstruction site reminds me of how I've always torn down myself for never being good enough for others. No matter how much success I achieved, it was never enough for any of them. I was pushed to do more, land more contracts, write more books, and hand over the money I made. Everyone demanded, no one encouraged. As a result I never wasted any opportunity I had as a professional. When one thing didn't ...

Two years ago I made my first memory quilt out of my old t-shirts. It was also the last time I would even think about making a t-shirt quilt because I struggled so much with the execution. Cotton jersey is a nightmare to sew, even on the machine. My hands didn't want to cooperate so I couldn't do as much embroidery as I wanted to (that was the very first time arthritis kept me from quilting, I think.) The fact that it's become one of my favorite quilts does not tempt me to revisit the experience. I also know I couldn't make this quilt now (or it would take me a year or two.) The old me struggled with the making; the present me would not even try. I can barely hold a needle anymore. So I crochet, and I tell myself that's a reasonable substitution because what else can I do? I crochet well. I crochet a lot. Still, I miss quilting. And I hate that I miss quilting. And then I miss quilting and the me who could do it even more. And then I hate myself a li...

Last week we stopped by our local no-kill cat shelter with my favorite person to make a donation and to visit with the kitties. She attracts all animals and volunteers at a shelter at home, so this was fun for her. I have a hard time not falling in love, as I did with this delicate little princess. She wouldn't hold still for a photo for long but she has sky blue eyes. Just like they do my girl, the cats all love my guy. He won't admit it but he loves visiting the shelter, too. There was one cat named Pepper who was not adoptable, likely for medical reasons, who stayed beside me the whole time I was in her room. She looked pretty banged up and had lost half of her tail. That always breaks my heart, but it's also the reason we go to visit regularly. Some of the kitties have to stay at the shelter as their forever home, and they need as much attention and affection as they can get while they live out their best lives there. If you are able to help out...

I've heard countless artists from all corners of the creative world complain about becoming stuck or paralyzed and being unable to produce anything. I'm practically plagued with inspiration; I've never suffered from writer's block, and if a non-writing creative project doesn't work out I go to the next one. My philosophy at this age is "Life is too short. Move on." Not everyone has my mindset, and I get that. Self-doubt is almost as contagious and unpleasant as cyclosporiasis. The creative life is often like walking a tightrope, well, forever. If you struggle with being stuck, try one of my approaches: Aside setting: I want to put this first because to me this really is the most important skill a creator can develop, as long as they don't abuse it. Set things aside. It's okay to do that; sometimes things don't work out. Sometimes the project takes so long it's exhausting you. If you are struggling every single day, and you hat...

While we were out and about on my birthday we stopped at Rockledge Gardens , which is one of the loveliest garden centers I've ever seen. Along with countless plants for purchase, there are all sorts of outbuildings where you can buy gifts, food and fresh vegetables in season. They have amazing landscaping ideas, too. Here's a wall made of pallet wood for displaying potted plants. Isn't that pretty? It's quite a trek covering the center's five acres, but worth every minute. Highly recommended if you're every within driving distance.

After so many (too many) DNFs it was a pleasure to read a properly-written book, which is absolutely Dear Old Dead by Jane Haddam. I actually took my time reading it because the writing, the story, the characters, the detective and basically every other element of the story were so good. At a charity, church-supported Harlem health center, saintly director and surgeon extraordinaire Dr. Michael Pride is not having a great night. After being arrested on a vice charge for frequenting a notorious gay sex club and having his image splashed all over the papers (keep in mind this novel was published 32 years ago in 1994), Michael is trying to clean up surgically the mess created by an ongoing gang war. Then he receives news that his wealthiest media mogul patron is waiting for him in his office, and goes to face the music -- only to find the mogul dying of strychnine poisoning. It doesn't help that basically everyone at the health center wants the mogul dead, and the poison used...