Missing You

I'm writing this while you're still here visiting (on November 9th, to be exact.) I'm pretty sure that you're too busy with your work to keep up with my blog, too, so I think I can post this without worrying that I'll upset you. It's just something I need to write today.

I don't hate a lot of things, but you working on the other side of the planet is one of them. I say to you that I'm happy you're pursuing your dreams and living in an island paradise, and I mean that with all my heart. I do. I just hate that it puts a planet between us.

Because I'm old now I wonder every time I see you if it will be the last time I do. That's why I want to be with you every second while you're here, because someday I won't ever be able to do that again. I don't want to die on you. I'm not afraid of dying; it's almost comforting to me now to know that I'll be finished one day and not have to suffer pain and heartache over the past anymore. But I don't want to leave you behind here. I think of you being alone and having no family left, and that's why I don't want to die too soon.

Just in case you were wondering, you are the best thing I ever did in my life. Not all the books. Not all the accolades. Not even surviving and overcoming what I did to become the woman I am. You are the best part of me and my life. Only you.

I miss you, sweetie.