Am I Still Here?

Now that I've finished the Swedish Death Cleaning, the house sometimes feels a bit empty. There's no more clutter anywhere, even in the closets. Everything is neatly binned and organized. I have accomplished all my house cleaning goals for this year and then some. While doing so I've also posted a ton of things to the blog to publish in the future.

As I write this, the date is June 24th. This post isn't scheduled to publish until August 16th. Between now and then I have a family gathering to host, a birthday, a new work project to begin, and lots of summer art projects to do. I didn't mean to get so far ahead of myself, because it's always possible my health situation will take a sudden turn and I really won't be here anymore.

I'm not indifferent to my health situation. I'm having some blood tests this week, and seeing my doctor next month. My diabetes appears to be improving a little. My arthritis is getting worse. I have two new issues that may or may not be problems; I'm trying to decide if I want to bring them up during the exam. I'm already not happy with this doctor, and I probably should change to another before I report the new issues -- unless they get a lot worse before my appointment.

So, am I still here? Hope so. I can't see my future. I also can't live my life in dread of leaving this place. If I do, I won't enjoy the time I have left here. Fingers crossed.