Skip to main content

Loving My Old Age

Yesterday's post made me think about the other side of ageing, which is really nice for me. While it comes with lots of aches, pains, limitations and worries, I like this part of my life better than any other that came before it. It's just me and my guy now, which means I don't have to take care of any other people anymore, a daily obligation I've had since I was eight years old that only ended a few years ago. Imagine spending most of your life as a caregiver without actually choosing to do so.

I still work at the best job I've ever had, and this particular job is the very best of all of those. I've ended my relationships with all the people who were toxic to me. I've come to terms with most of my own personal issues, and I'm still working on improving myself. I'm having a lot of fun with my textile art and just being myself. I even have friends who aren't using me for my connections (because I don't have any connections anymore!)

Why embrace my old age? Well, I really disliked being a child for too many reasons. Every school I was forced to attend was awful; so was spending three or four days a week in church. I've never accepted or believed in the religion I was taught; I just faked it until I could get away from my mom and all the other super religious people in the family. Also, back then adults didn't just hit kids, they beat them (and I have the scars to prove it.) As a helpless and powerless child I couldn't escape the hateful people who bullied and hurt me. Even if it meant living free of physical pain again, I'd never relive the first 17 years of my life.

People generally don't touch you when you're older (a huge relief for me, as that's my biggest phobia.) They don't scrutinize your appearance or care what you're doing. Mostly they ignore you because you're not someone who appeals to them for any reason. That's so wonderful.

My time is my own. I'll never be a great artist, but I am having fun with the things I make. I'm learning all the time because I have time to teach myself new things. I don't have to be beautiful or professional or even presentable. I'm writing this post in pajama shorts and my old University of Maine Black Bears shirt with the holes in it. Who cares? No one. :)

Image credit: Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stuff

After finding this Caron one pound skein of lovely peach yarn in my thrifted lot I raided my stash for two cakes of Mandala in Pegasus, which matches it perfectly. For practice and hand therapy I'm going to make another Worth Street Afghan with this free pattern , but this time I'll use the yarn that was recommended for it plus the one pound skein. I'm not quite ready to do the vintage/recycled linen quilt I had planned (still a bit too nervous about the idea), so I'm going to use some color therapy and make a quilt from these thrifted green fat quarters. I considered doing another Yellow Brick road patchwork pattern, but I might go with a split rail fence like this one.
Post a Comment
Read more

Journal Find

This is a page from my 2010 poetry journal. My handwriting isn't the best, so I'll transcribe it: If my heart survives to tell all the secrets kept inside it will be an abalone shell in which the beauty did reside. But I think I will always be lost to the tides that rage in me . . . humbling and polishing . . . I don't write many self-portrait poems, but this one isn't too embarrassing. A bit overly dramatic, but the girl I was eleven years ago went through some tough times. I'm in a much more peaceful place today.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Numbers

Back in March my diabetes doctor changed my medication and encouraged me to alter my diet and exercise more in order to bring down my A1C, which at the time tested out at a dismal 8.3 (normal is 5.8.) So for the next two months I dealt with the increased meds, stuck to my decidedly grim diet and added a lot more walking to my exercise regime. P.S., it's never fun to be a diabetic, but over the last couple of months I've really tried to keep a good attitude about it. Attitude isn't everything, but it helps a lot when you have to make significant changes while battling a disease like this. Yesterday I performed a home A1C test, and I'm currently at 6.5. That's pretty amazing results, even for me. If I can get it down another half point before I see the doctor in July I'd be over the moon, but I feel like I've already done great. Image credit: Image by Daniele Liberatori from Pixabay
Post a Comment
Read more