Cleaning to Death

What I've been calling spring cleaning included something else that might seem a bit grim. The concept is called a Swedish Death Clean, and you can read more about it here, but basically you donate, discard and otherwise rid yourself of things you own so that your heirs don't have to do that after your death. It's the ultimate and a very permanent form of cleaning and organizing.

I focused on my favorite person's things first, but once I finished sorting through and donating her possessions from college (with her full knowledge and blessing, btw) I did the same for all the boxes and bins of things I've been storing from my past. Basically I let go of about forty years of records, writing, journals, possessions and other reminders of my past so one day my favorite person won't have to.

Since the first half of my life was spent in poverty, obeying a strict religion while dealing with continuous family troubles, I wrote a great deal about it in my journals to cope. I've always kept the worst details of my life secret, and unfortunately there are many. I don't want to be remembered for what I endured, or strike back at everyone who hurt me in the past.

It was difficult, I admit. I felt at times like I was erasing myself. Yet I am not vindictive person, and once I finished it felt incredibly freeing. Now all that pain has been reduced to memories that will die with me, and I can see that there is no better way to deal with them.