Cleaning to Death

What I've been calling spring cleaning included something else that might seem a bit grim. The concept is called a Swedish Death Clean, and you can read more about it here, but basically you donate, discard and otherwise rid yourself of things you own so that your heirs don't have to do that after your death. It's the ultimate and a very permanent form of cleaning and organizing.

I focused on my favorite person's things first, but once I finished sorting through and donating her possessions from college (with her full knowledge and blessing, btw) I did the same for all the boxes and bins of things I've been storing from my past. Basically I let go of about forty years of records, writing, journals, possessions and other reminders of my past so one day my favorite person won't have to.

Since the first half of my life was spent in poverty, obeying a strict religion while dealing with continuous family troubles, I wrote a great deal about it in my journals to cope. I've always kept the worst details of my life secret, and unfortunately there are many. I don't want to be remembered for what I endured, or strike back at everyone who hurt me in the past.

It was difficult, I admit. I felt at times like I was erasing myself. Yet I am not vindictive person, and once I finished it felt incredibly freeing. Now all that pain has been reduced to memories that will die with me, and I can see that there is no better way to deal with them.

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Journal Find

This is a page from my 2010 poetry journal. My handwriting isn't the best, so I'll transcribe it: If my heart survives to tell all the secrets kept inside it will be an abalone shell in which the beauty did reside. But I think I will always be lost to the tides that rage in me . . . humbling and polishing . . . I don't write many self-portrait poems, but this one isn't too embarrassing. A bit overly dramatic, but the girl I was eleven years ago went through some tough times. I'm in a much more peaceful place today.

Stuff

After finding this Caron one pound skein of lovely peach yarn in my thrifted lot I raided my stash for two cakes of Mandala in Pegasus, which matches it perfectly. For practice and hand therapy I'm going to make another Worth Street Afghan with this free pattern , but this time I'll use the yarn that was recommended for it plus the one pound skein. I'm not quite ready to do the vintage/recycled linen quilt I had planned (still a bit too nervous about the idea), so I'm going to use some color therapy and make a quilt from these thrifted green fat quarters. I considered doing another Yellow Brick road patchwork pattern, but I might go with a split rail fence like this one.

Another World

Since I'm watching more Japanese dramas these days I'm able to find more hidden gems, like the drama Silent . This is a subtle, emotional romance series, and authentically portrays what it's like to deal with a major disability while trying to get on with life and fall in love. Here's the story: in high school Sou Sakura (Meguro Ren) and Tsumugi Aoba (Haruna Kawaguchi) are a young couple. They have the same quirky sense of humor, love music, and really enjoy being with each other. The fact that they're the most attractive couple in school is obvious, but the innocent and fun nature of their relationship is what makes it so perfect. They just like talking with each other. Then, quite suddenly, Sou dumps Tsumugi (by text, no less, making him a giant ass) and vanishes. Years later Tsumugi is now in a relationship with another guy, with whom she's happy, and is looking for a place where they can live together. By accident she runs into Sou, and discovers ...

Rayen

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