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Tough News

Having diabetes means not much in the way of good news, especially as the disease progresses. I'm having more trouble controlling my blood sugar lately, even while eating the same diet as before and faithfully taking my meds. My doctor had me take a carotid ultrasound test, and the results showed that my neck arteries are twice as blocked as they were last year. Despite my strict diet my cholesterol level has been super high lately, but unfortunately I can't tolerate any of the meds that might lower it.

What does this mean? If I can't control my blood sugar I'll have to start taking insulin by needle, which will be more dangerous and may have consequences. And if we can't figure out how to lower my cholesterol, eventually my arteries will become completely clogged, which means I die by stroke or a heart attack.

Yes, it's depressing, especially as I've stepped up my exercise and adhere strictly to my diet, but it's also not unexpected. I've always known my life expectancy has been shortened by diabetes; according to the latest calculations we lose 6 years, so that means I might live to be 71 if I'm lucky -- but I've never been lucky. :) I'm probably at stage three of atherosclerosis, so I'd shave off another five years of my life. So, 66 is probably a more realistic life expectancy for me.

I will keep fighting, of course. I will go on the needle if I have to. I'll exercise more, eat more carefully and try to lose more weight. I'll stay optimistic, too. But with all that, I think it's time to start considering how I want to live what's left of my life.

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