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Ground

I have been trying hard to be happy this summer, because the temptation to drop into deep depression has been almost irresistable. The last few years have seemed to me like millstones, and people keep feeding themselves into them to be crushed. That may sound a bit bleak until you think back on the last time you heard anything newsworthy that didn't prey on your negative emotions. Climate change? Scares us, makes us feel helpless. Politics? Have become so hateful they foster emotions from outrage to contempt 24/7 in basically everyone. Same with mass shootings, overseas wars, bigotry, runaway inflation, health issues, food safety, etc.

I've stopped checking on current events. I don't want to be poisoned by it anymore.

That said, most of it is still in my face. Bumper stickers, yard signs, t-shirts all proclaiming toxic politics abound here. I can shut that off by pretending I don't see it, or just thinking about something else, but inflation can't be dodged. When I go to the market and see a head of lettuce for six dollars, and a single bell pepper for five, I wonder how people with kids are even managing to properly feed their families. Is everyone living on mac n' cheese? Gas prices just increased over four dollars a gallon here. We're back to only using the car when we need to run three or more errands.

It's always been easier to be negative and dark. I think the bitterness and disappointment we all feel as we age becomes mountainous, too. I don't regret my life, but if I had known what the outcome would be . . . I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't change any of my choices because the result isn't as important as the effort. Despite the many miseries of being constantly ground down over the years, I am grateful for my life. That pushes me away from depression more than anything.

The millstones will go on grinding no matter what you or I do. So live and pursue your happiness. If you fail, try again, or try something new or different. Keep going in the most positive direction you can. That may be the only way to escape being crushed.

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