Fighting the Blues

I'm falling behind on several projects, which makes me annoyed with myself. My progress on the thrifted clothing fabric quilt has been frustratingly slow. I'm mired down with spring cleaning the last two rooms, which are probably going to take until summer arrives. My guy has been busy pressure cleaning the outside of the house, so I've been taking care of the dogs solo, including their long walks, which takes up more of my time. All of these things combine to drag me down.

On the upside? I've finally gotten into the rhythm of working on my latest project for the day job, but I had a lousy couple of days with that. I did finish our hurricane prep, and now have everything in place to weather another storm season, but I still wonder if it's enough. I'm constantly second-guessing myself.

Although I have a good routine established with housework and the day job, sometimes I can't get into it. I know some of the culprits are lack of sleep (I had a bad time last week with insomnia), physical limitations (I'm definitely feeling my age and afflictions more keenly these days) and general blahness. Like everyone I get tired of all the demands on me. I'm really sick of the internet, too. All this doom and glooming and hatred makes me sick.

How do I combat all this aggravation? I'm writing a little every day in a new journal about how fortunate I am, and what does make me happy in my daily life (i.e. reaching my work quota, the pups, a nice walk.) I'm cooking up a storm, and in the last couple of weeks I've discovered three new delicious recipes. I made oatmeal raisin cookies that are safe for me to eat that my guy actually loved. I'm fighting the frustration with positivity and creation, and it's working to slowly pull me out of this blue period.

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Stuff

After finding this Caron one pound skein of lovely peach yarn in my thrifted lot I raided my stash for two cakes of Mandala in Pegasus, which matches it perfectly. For practice and hand therapy I'm going to make another Worth Street Afghan with this free pattern , but this time I'll use the yarn that was recommended for it plus the one pound skein. I'm not quite ready to do the vintage/recycled linen quilt I had planned (still a bit too nervous about the idea), so I'm going to use some color therapy and make a quilt from these thrifted green fat quarters. I considered doing another Yellow Brick road patchwork pattern, but I might go with a split rail fence like this one.

Journal Find

This is a page from my 2010 poetry journal. My handwriting isn't the best, so I'll transcribe it: If my heart survives to tell all the secrets kept inside it will be an abalone shell in which the beauty did reside. But I think I will always be lost to the tides that rage in me . . . humbling and polishing . . . I don't write many self-portrait poems, but this one isn't too embarrassing. A bit overly dramatic, but the girl I was eleven years ago went through some tough times. I'm in a much more peaceful place today.

The Numbers

Back in March my diabetes doctor changed my medication and encouraged me to alter my diet and exercise more in order to bring down my A1C, which at the time tested out at a dismal 8.3 (normal is 5.8.) So for the next two months I dealt with the increased meds, stuck to my decidedly grim diet and added a lot more walking to my exercise regime. P.S., it's never fun to be a diabetic, but over the last couple of months I've really tried to keep a good attitude about it. Attitude isn't everything, but it helps a lot when you have to make significant changes while battling a disease like this. Yesterday I performed a home A1C test, and I'm currently at 6.5. That's pretty amazing results, even for me. If I can get it down another half point before I see the doctor in July I'd be over the moon, but I feel like I've already done great. Image credit: Image by Daniele Liberatori from Pixabay

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