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The Hard Place

I am on an emotional upswing lately, thanks to my textile art and being busy at work. Summer is my favorite season, and this point in the year is free of holidays, always a relief. The pandemic has kept my social obligations at zero. I have inspiring friends with whom I can interact on Twitter now. My health is slowly improving. I have the puppies, who are a daily joy. My guy and I get along fine without any drama. My favorite person is living the life of her dreams.

All this makes me a little nervous, so when I had a follow-up appt. with my dermatologist and she found some pre-cancerous patches on my face I felt almost relieved. So that's the next thing I have to deal with, I thought.

I'm not a lucky person, and I don't have a charmed life (does anyone?), so I always expect the next disaster may be a major one. That also seems to be the ongoing theme in this stage in my life. Yet pre-cancer is much easier to handle than losing someone I love again, or suffering a serious health setback, or face some other misery that threatens to drag me back into despair. I'm prepared for that, too; I think I always am in some corner of my heart. I've also been tempered by experience. I have lived through a lot. Then again, haven't we all?

Being happy isn't something I take for granted. Sometimes it's even a hard place for me to be, as I know more about not being happy. I don't believe in fate, and I think you make what you want out of your life no matter how unfortunate it is. I'll take joy in what I can while I can, deal with the treatment for the cancer trying to grow on my face, and rest up for whatever lies ahead of me.

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