Happy Birthday, Mom

There are a half-dozen grapefruit on your memorial tree right now, Mom. We'll probably have them for New Year's Eve. I think of you every time I look at the new trees.

It's been seven months since you died, and it still doesn't feel quite real to me. I keep thinking of things I want to make for you: a pair of crocheted slippers to keep your feet warm, a pretty lap quilt, a wall hanging full of flowers that will never die. I have things here that I did make for you, unaware that I would finish them too late to send them. I don't know what to do with them now. The other day I was at the store and saw an outfit in your favorite color and thought, "Mom would love that" before I remembered you aren't here to wear the clothes I buy for you any more.

It's not denial, exactly, it's more like I keep forgetting that you are beyond me, in a place I don't know or understand. You will always be my mom, just as I'll be your daughter, but there is no more us here. There's just me.

Today I will be happy. It's the day you were born, and the grapefruits are growing, and my life has settled down again into comfortable rhythms of work and play, focus and dreams, sadness and joy. I am your daughter still, here and well. If you can, be happy with me.

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Stuff

After finding this Caron one pound skein of lovely peach yarn in my thrifted lot I raided my stash for two cakes of Mandala in Pegasus, which matches it perfectly. For practice and hand therapy I'm going to make another Worth Street Afghan with this free pattern , but this time I'll use the yarn that was recommended for it plus the one pound skein. I'm not quite ready to do the vintage/recycled linen quilt I had planned (still a bit too nervous about the idea), so I'm going to use some color therapy and make a quilt from these thrifted green fat quarters. I considered doing another Yellow Brick road patchwork pattern, but I might go with a split rail fence like this one.

Better than Fried

I cut some chives from the kitchen garden to make garlic-chive baked fries for dinner. This is a great side dish for veggie burgers. Click here for the recipe from Taste of Home.com.

In the Kitchen Garden

Our strawberries are taking over the kitchen garden, but I don't mind. This week I want to make some strawberry banana nice cream (a vegan version of ice cream) and maybe a chocolate cake with berries and cream for the topping. There's thyme in the garden now, too, which I'll dry and jar for cooking along with the chives and the oregano. Next we'll plant cucumbers, as I use a ton of those in our salads and for snacks.

Rayen

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