Skip to main content

Back and Forth

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

― Søren Kierkegaard

We think so much about the past and future that we often forget to live in the present. I'm certainly guilty of dwelling too much on the past. I used to tell myself that I needed to learn from the mistakes I've made, but regret isn't much of a teacher. It's impossible for me to separate the negative emotions from the events that inspired them.

Like everyone I've also tried to fix my past in my head by thinking "If I could go back and change what I did, I would . . . and then this wouldn't have happened." As if with my current knowledge I could have prevented the mistakes. If that were true, I think I would have no one and nothing in my life now; I'd be living in a cave somewhere. And I'd be miserable.

The present has its daily challenges for me, but it's also peaceful now. I'm no longer being held as an emotional hostage by the past or the future. Freeing myself only required letting go of the regret for things I will never be able to change, and worry over things that haven't yet happened. I hope I can stay where I am. I like this place.

Image by Couleur from Pixabay

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Wishing

I submitted book one of my NA series for professional review and consideration, and in return I was praised for the work and provided with excellent feedback. Now I have some changes to contemplate, and decisions to make about the future. I have a couple of different directions to take, which makes the deciding part a challenge. At times like these I wish I had a crystal ball so I could see the outcome of every choice. Wouldn't life be easier if we could do that? Image by Matthias Böckel from Pixabay

Downtown Discovery

My guy and I are taking time each week to walk around the downtown areas of places we've never had time before to visit, which is how I came across a lovely fiber art supplies shop wth amazing handspun art yarns and hand-dyed embroidery threads from local artists. Fine silk embroidery thread is literally impossible to find in my part of the country, but not anymore. I also loved the amazing selection of hand-dyed flosses. I even found some tiny seed beads for my current project, and a gift for a quilter friend. While I try to thrift as much as I can for my art quilting and embroidery these days, I love the chance to support our my local weavers and dexters.

Of Kork

On the second day of March I overslept. I spent ten hours sleeping, which is very unusual for me. This is because I've suffered from insomnia most of my life, but since making significant changes (like acquiring my current day job, which allowed me to escape all the toxic people I had to deal with in my old job) I sleep much better. These days I usual manage six or seven hours sleep, and if I'm very lucky eight. But ten? I sleep that much only a couple times a year, and generally only when I'm sick. Dreams might be to blame. I remember the night was filled with them, all lovely. I traveled across Europe, I walked the streets of old cities and met lots of interesting people. In one city I stopped by an engagement party where a very attractive couple were exchanging signed contracts. The groom showed me his, and I read these words: "Course shall become Kork." I understood then that they meant to be together forever, and that it was a reincarnation co...