“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
― Søren Kierkegaard
We think so much about the past and future that we often forget to live in the present. I'm certainly guilty of dwelling too much on the past. I used to tell myself that I needed to learn from the mistakes I've made, but regret isn't much of a teacher. It's impossible for me to separate the negative emotions from the events that inspired them.
Like everyone I've also tried to fix my past in my head by thinking "If I could go back and change what I did, I would . . . and then this wouldn't have happened." As if with my current knowledge I could have prevented the mistakes. If that were true, I think I would have no one and nothing in my life now; I'd be living in a cave somewhere. And I'd be miserable.
The present has its daily challenges for me, but it's also peaceful now. I'm no longer being held as an emotional hostage by the past or the future. Freeing myself only required letting go of the regret for things I will never be able to change, and worry over things that haven't yet happened. I hope I can stay where I am. I like this place.
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